DEAD IS DEAD
AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TOO IT
"Hey. What in the blazes is going on here?"
"Why Edward Gosh, don't you know, don't you feel it? You are dead, very dead in fact and what a mess you left behind for others to clean up. It'll be years before your survivors can sort out all that paper work and money you left behind without a will, no spouse, no kids, only a collection of aunts, uncles and cousins who are at each other's throats already, fighting to inherit your estate."
"I'm 29 years old. Whoda thought it. I figured I'd live at least til I was 70. How did I die?"
"Man you really are the ticket. You go out and get yourself killed because you wanted to ride a horse, never having done so before. Then you just had to make it run and it ran into a rail fence and jumped it and you fell off heels over head and smashed your skull on a rock and cracked it open like a big egg. It is hard to believe you don't remember that."
"What are you chattering about? I hate horses and would never go near one let alone get on one. I get within a few feet and all I do is sneeze.
Don't be ludicrous. It's all written down here. The event of Edward Gosh's death. It's your time. Dead is dead and that's all there is too it."
"Unless of course you folks really screwed up and got the wrong guy."
"That would never happen. Never. Never."
"Ah Boss. I think you better check this out before you flap your lips any more. I think there's been an error. Look here."
"Very well. I will look but...." Oh my. There are three Edward Goshs on the list."
"Yah Boss. We picked up the wrong Eddy. The real one is still hanging around down there wandering about trying to figure out what happen."
"No. That's not how it works. The Dead Edward will have taken over our Edward's place."
"And I am in his place."
"He's catching on Boss."
"So why not just send me back?"
"It's not that easy."
"What do you mean, it's not that easy? Just back up and put everyone where they belong."
"Sorry. No can do. We have to go before the Grim Reaper's Court and explain what happened first. Then he has to review the incident and only he can put things right, that's provided he chooses to do so. He might like the arrangement."
"That's bull. The truth, I'll bet is, you gave him the wrong information and he came and collected me. If you go back and tell him you screwed up he is going to be real upset with you."
"Hey Boss. This guy ain't no dummy. He's got you all figured out. "
Your Boss is going to be some upset if he has to reverse his collection notice. Put me back or get me an audience with this reaper fellow. One way or another I am taking my life back."
"Very well. But it puts me in a bad spot. I'll have to go back to the beginning and start all over again. And I only had a week left before I could move on."
"Move on to where?"
"The next level of course. You don't think you can just walk in here and prance through the pearly gates. You have to prove yourself and you have to start right at the bottom."
"Not always Boss. If you have been good in life that fellow at the Pearly Gates will know it. It's him that decides where you start. If you would have let Eddy here go there first, in the first place, none of this would be happening."
"You knew you screwed up and you've been trying to cover your butt so you wouldn't have to start all over again.
My guess is, no one has to go to any one's court. All that has to happen is you present me to this pearly gate keeper and he will know that there has been a screw up and he will put everything right."
"Hey Boss. This guy's got you all figured out."
"Wait. It was you who gave me the new list. It was....."
"You sure are a dolt Boss. I would have picked that up right off. You were too busy thinking how good you were at your job to notice me getting into your spot by getting rid of you."
"So I am here because you wanted to get up the ladder and closer to this Pearly gate and made me pay the price because you made it look like your boss messed up. How clever of you, except I won't let you get away with it. Take me to this Gate Keeper."
"Wait!" A big voice thundered in the misty shadows of nowheresville.
"Oh Oh Boss. We're in for it now."
"No. You are in for it. You conspired to take over and someone seems to have noticed."
"You are wrong Boss. Your signature is on all the paper work. Not mine."
"Well. You look like the pictures I've seen of you. I never quite believed you were real, but here you are, The Grim Reaper in the flesh, or whatever you are made of. Now you can send me back where you found me."
"I shall." Came the big booming voice in reply. "But first. Do you wish to lodge a complaint against either of these two spirit catchers?"
"No. I just want my life back."
Edward Gosh blinked once, twice then a third time. His right hand trembled, almost spilling his coffee as he read the name in the newspaper obituary. "Bizarre horse accident kills rider Edward Gosh of Meadowville Horse Stables."
"Now isn't that odd how dreams manage to find their way into real life."